


Can't Not

by AnonymousSpacePrince



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Sharing a Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-17 17:30:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousSpacePrince/pseuds/AnonymousSpacePrince
Summary: It's not that Dex can't stand Nursey. Really, it's not. They're friends. They're not close, but they're friends. Now, does he hate the idea of living with Nursey? That's an entirely different answer. He does, but not because he hates Nursey. Just because he hates the idea of being so close to Nursey all the time.An introspective look at Dex and Nursey's progression as roommates.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this whole thing last night between the hours of 10:00 pm and 1:20 am. That's the latest I've stayed up in months. This was partially fueled by spite, because people seem to think Ngozi killed NurseyDex in the blog post about Dib Flip and those certain people do not seem to understand sarcasm or subtext.
> 
> Anyway. This isn't like my usual writing so do let me know if it comes off odd. I'm not used to writing based on canon scenes, even though everything I write is canon-compliant.

    It's not that Dex can't stand Nursey. Really, it's not. They're friends. They're not _close_ , but they're friends. Now, does he hate the idea of living with Nursey? That's an entirely different answer. He does, but not because he hates Nursey. Just because he hates the idea of being so close to Nursey all the time.  
  
    He's probably a terrible roommate, is the thing. He probably snores. Well, he doesn't, Dex knows from the Haus sleepovers they've had. He sleeps very peacefully and quietly aside from occasional little mumbles, but he probably leaves clothes all over the floor. Okay, Dex has been to his dorm room, and he's seen how spotless it is, save a loose pair of shoes or a messy stack of papers.  
  
    But he's probably gonna harass Dex all the time. Dex hasn't seen anything to prove that he won't. He'll probably make a bunch of noise and constantly tease him, and keep him up at night talking about stupid shit like how the world works. And then they'd just get caught up in conversation and theories, and they wouldn't get any sleep and Dex would be exhausted in the morning.  
  
    So yeah, awful roommate. Dex isn't excited. He tries hard not to think about the way the nerves he's feeling don't quite fit the thoughts he's allowing through.

  
\----

  
    So Dex can't stand him. Nursey's cool with that. Really, it's chill. The uncensored horror on Dex's face when the coin lands in the crack between floorboards doesn't even bother him. Who even cares what Dex thinks? Nursey's excited enough about it, and if his excitement torments Dex, that's all the more reason.  
  
    The way Dex collapses onto his hands and knees by the coin is kinda funny, really. Nursey's never seen such comical disbelief. And it totally doesn't hurt a little when Dex says, voice firm and almost desperate, "I _can't_." That's chill. Nursey doesn't care if Dex hates him.  
  
    Besides, Dex will probably give up and move out after a while, and Nursey will have the room to himself. That's another reason to be excited. Just thinking about it, how he'll be able to annoy Dex out, it has Nursey grinning. He can wake him up too early for breakfast, so they end up in the kitchen with Bitty while he cooks, talking and drinking coffee. He can read all his poetry aloud until Dex gives up and just listens, gradually getting less annoyed by it.  
  
    Nursey's totally gonna have fun bugging Dex until he cracks. He carefully avoids the way the excitement bubbling up inside him doesn't quite match his plans.

  
\--♢--

  
    The next year, Dex and Nursey move into the Haus. They have to install another mattress beneath the original loft bed. Of course, the job is left to Dex, even though Nursey's the one who will sleep on the bottom because he's too clumsy to be trusted on the top.  
  
    It's really not that much work, if Dex is being honest with himself. All he has to do is drill some holes, install some brackets, and lay down slats and a mattress. It's easy, nothing compared to some of the jobs he's done, but he still huffs and groans through the whole thing.  
  
    He's crouched on the floor, red baseball cap on backwards and screwdriver in hand, when Nursey actually arrives. "Yo, Poindexter," he says, dropping a heavy-sounding bag to the floor.  
  
    Dex doesn't even spare him a glance, just tenses his shoulders and says, "hey, Nurse."  
  
    "What'cha doin'?"  
  
    "Setting up _your_  bed," Dex says.  
  
    "Oh, chill."  
  
    "Yeah."

    "I could've just hired someone to do that, you know, you didn't have to."

    "It's fine, Nursey, I don't mind."

    "Okay, well, thanks."

  
\----

  
    Nursey settles into the desk chair beside the bed and resigns to watch Dex work. Just because he's not very handy doesn't mean he's clueless. He can tell what it is Dex is doing, even if the details of how to do such things escape his grasp. Besides, he likes how focused Dex looks.  
  
    His brow is all furrowed, in concentration instead of frustration, and his lips are pressed thin. Nursey isn't actually sure what he looks like when he's deep into writing, but more than once he's caught himself making particular faces, and they've felt somewhat like Dex looks.  
  
    See, Nursey and Dex are different people, from different places, with different backgrounds and world views, but they have a lot in common, if you think about it. They're both passionate, about very different things, but also about mutual interests. Dex is passionate about manual labour, anything he has to work physically to get done. (At least, Nursey thinks he's passionate about it. He's always willing to do it, anyway.) Nursey's passionate about writing, and reading. They're both passionate about hockey, and Bitty's baked goods.  
  
    Nursey's train of thought cruises down a long track, and he thinks about the difference and similarities between he and Dex, until Dex snaps him out of it. "Yo, Nursey, how about some help with the mattress?" Dex shoots him a friendly smile, and Nursey somehow becomes sure that sharing a room with Dex will be just fine.

  
\----

  
    It's so much worse than Dex thought. Sharing a room with Nursey, that is. The thing is, it's terrible because it's not terrible. Okay, some of it is terrible. Like Nursey's habit of kicking the bottom of his mattress every time Dex shifts in his sleep, or Nursey's insistance on early breakfast. The first time Nursey starts reading a poem out loud, Dex hurls a pillow at him so hard it _woof_ s on impact, and only gets a laugh in return.  
  
    Other than that stuff, it's pretty _chill_. Just like Dex suspected, they do stay up some nights, just talking about whatever shit comes to mind.  
  
    The first time it happens, Nursey climbs up to Dex's bunk after a half hour and just sits on the edge with his legs hanging down the ladder, so they can talk more quietly and more efficiently. Dex ends up sitting up against the wall, clutching his pillow to his chest and not even trying to see in the dark. They talk about everything from their impending schoolwork load to how the universe works, in a metaphysical sense.  
  
    Dex only gets three hours of sleep that night, and he only remembers a quarter of the conversation, but he finds himself in the middle of the day, smiling as he recalls some of Nursey's funnier comments.

  
\----

  
    Nursey was right when he predicted that Dex would gradually become less annoyed by his poetry reading. Although, to his surprise, he thinks Dex even starts enjoying it. It's not like he reads poetry constantly, but if he really likes one he reads, or writes, he'll read it out to Dex.  
  
    The first few times, he gets pelted with anything from a pillow to a thick, heavy quilt, but as time wears on, Dex mellows out. He starts to look up and really listen when Nursey starts reading aloud, even reacting to what he hears. A few times, he even asks Nursey who the poet is, or what the poem is called, or what a specific line means.  
  
    Rooming with Dex is surprisingly chill. They still fight plenty, and sometimes it even gets too serious, but most of the time, they work around each other effectively. Nursey stays out of Dex's space when he's stressed, and Dex doesn't rain on Nursey's parade when he's happy about something. If anything, rooming together brings them closer, instead of pushing them apart.  
  
    Maybe that's why things start changing.

  
\----

  
    At first, it's Dex catching himself laughing too hard at Nursey's jokes, or feeling an uncomfortable swell of happiness when Nursey says something nice to him. Dex carefully assigns that to the fact that they're better friends now. It doesn't sit right with him, but he doesn't want to analyze the feelings too closely yet.

  
\----

  
    For Nursey, he catches himself staring too long when Dex smiles, and leaning into it whenever Dex touches him. He's not an idiot; he knows what it means. He knows what he's feeling, and he's well-adjusted enough to not make excuses. But he does fret about it, because if he's having these feelings now, he's in danger of fucking up a good thing.

  
\----

  
    Dex is the one who breaks the peace. He doesn't mean to, and he feels guilty as soon as he does. He's just having a kind of shitty day. He got a sub-par grade back on a test, and he's been getting shit for sleep for weeks, no credit to interesting midnight conversations. He's just not in the mood to deal with Nursey, so when Nursey starts reading a poem out loud while Dex is trying to study, he snaps unintentionally. "Hey, can you shut the fuck up, Nurse? Now's not the time."  
  
    Dex sees the hurt on Nursey's face, and he immediately regrets what he said. He's about to backpedal and apologize, but then Nursey puts his 'chill' face back on and says, "sorry, bro, I thought you liked it when I read poetry."  
  
    Dex's anger flares back up, because how dare Nursey make assumptions about him? "I don't fucking like poetry, that's your shit."  
  
    "'Kay, chill," Nursey says.  
  
    _J_ _ust let it go_. "Fuck you! You _chill_!"  
  
    Nursey shoots a glare at Dex, and then goes back to silently reading.  
  
    "What, nothing to say? Fucking say something, man." Dex doesn't even know why he's trying to start a fight. He's just sick of feeling passive.  
  
    Nursey sighs heavily and gets up off his bed, walks over to lean against the frame by the desk chair, encroaching on Dex's space. Dex _knows_  that Nursey knows he hates that shit when he's mad. "What do you want me to say?"  
  
    "Fucking something!" Dex exclaims. "Why don't you stop pretending to be 'chill' and speak your fucking mind for once?" He sees the look in Nursey's eyes change, and knows he's close. "You know we can all see how fake your 'chill' is from a mile away, right?"  
  
    That does it. Nursey yanks Dex up out of the chair by his shirt and shoves him against the wall, pinning him there with his shirt halfway up his abdomen. "So what? At least I know how to pick my fucking battles," Nursey says.  
  
    Dex shoves at him, and Nursey pins him back to the wall and pushes into his space. There's a long moment where Dex feels exposed, then, and his temper deflates. He realizes how close Nursey is, and how vulnerable it feels to be cornered like this. His anger pours back in like a wave, just in time for Nursey to press his other hand against Dex's skin where his shirt is ridden up and pin his back flat to the wall.  
  
    Dex tries to fight his grip on instinct, but in the next second, Nursey's lips are on his, rough and unrelenting. A little whine crawls up from Dex's throat and his hands dig into Nursey's shoulders where he had been trying to push him away. His eyes close automatically as he kisses back, letting Nursey press him back against the wall with his own body.  
  
    It feels so good, too good, Dex would swear there's fire in his veins. He gets an arm around Nursey's neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss, and Nursey's tongue slipping smoothly into his mouth and brushing his own feels like an act of God.  
  
    Nursey's knee pushes Dex's legs apart and slots itself between them. Only then does Dex realize he's getting hard, and how _good_ it feels to be pressed up against Nursey. He hears his own voice whimper, " _yes,_ " in between kisses, though he didn't intend to say it.  
  
    Dex's hips push forward, seeking more contact and some relief. He feels that Nursey is equally hard against his hip, and suddenly Dex slams into reality like a train into a brick wall that was supposed to be a tunnel.  
  
    He realizes what's happening, that he's kissing Nursey, that it's Nursey's hand on his bare skin, that it's Nursey making him feel so good. He thinks about what going to bed with Nursey would be like, all bare, sweat-slicked skin, the noises Nursey might make, the noises _he_  might make. It sends a shiver of warm pleasure through his body so intense that Dex panics.  
  
    He pushes Nursey back, hard, suddenly feeling like someone is cranking a vice around his lungs. His shirt falls back over his stomach, the vice gets tighter. His body aches from the loss of contact, the vice gets tighter. His blood is pumping so hard it's roaring in his ears, the vice gets tighter.  
  
    "Shit, I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?" Nursey asks, hovering just outside of Dex's personal space.  
  
    "Just- just leave me the fuck alone, please," Dex says. He heads for the door and doesn't stop when he hears Nursey calling his name.

  
\----

  
    Nursey leans against the beds, feeling dazed and weak. He doesn't know what the fuck just happened, but he's got extremely conflicting emotions going on.  
  
    Nursey decides that a shower is in his best interest. In the bathroom, he locks both doors and then strips, biting back a groan at the friction when he pulls his jeans down, and steps under the hot spray. He's not proud that he's still hard, but he's had his dick long enough to know that it operates on its own wavelength. It only takes a few strokes and the memory of Dex's body against his to finish, then Nursey soaps himself up and stands under the spray until the bathroom feels like a sauna.  
  
    After drying off and dressing in sweatpants and a t-shirt, Nursey climbs into his own bed and curls up facing the wall. He's a little shocked that he starts to cry, but he figures, since he probably just ruined he and Dex's friendship irreparably, he's got a good enough reason.

  
\----

  
     Dex comes home a few hours later, after taking enough time to clear his head and sort through most of his feelings. Chowder gives him a wary look on the way in, and he frowns back, but doesn't say anything. He heads straight up to his and Nursey's room.  
  
    Inside, it's dim, the only light coming in from the window. He can tell Nursey is in his own bed, probably asleep. Dex's nerves grow again as he remembers what happened. The way he shoved Nursey away and snapped at him. Dex hopes he didn't fuck things up too bad.  
  
    Nursey doesn't move or say anything, so Dex is sure he's asleep. He strips out of his jeans and climbs up to his bed in just his boxers and shirt. He slips under the covers and wishes he could undo his stupid freakout from earlier. God, he'd wanted something to happen with Nursey for so long (albeit, without admitting it to himself), and then something had happened, and he'd fucked it up. Jesus, the night could've gone so differently.  
  
    Below him, Nursey shifts, and Dex feels another wave of anxiety run through him. "Hey, are you awake?" He asks softly.  
  
    For a moment, there's no reply, and Dex thinks he's got his answer. Then Nursey says, hesitantly, "yeah."  
  
    "I'm sorry," Dex says, barely more than a whisper. He doesn't like the feeling of anxiety, doesn't like his stomach flipping unpleasantly.  
  
    "Oh," Nursey says. "What? I was gonna apologize to you."  
  
    "For what?" Dex asks. "Hang on a sec." He climbs back down the ladder, and sits on the edge of Nursey's bed. Nursey sits up, but leaves space between them.  
  
    "For crossing that line, I guess. I didn't mean to do anything you weren't comfortable with," Nursey says.  
  
    "No, I- I liked what was happening," Dex says. "I just kinda... freaked out, because I've never, uh-"  
  
    "Been with a guy?" Nursey guesses.  
  
    "No, no, I have, but he didn't, you know, mean anything to me," Dex explains. "You're... my friend. I like you, and I don't really wanna fuck things up between us. I think sometimes it's harder to be with someone you really care about."  
  
    "Yeah, because there's more at stake," Nursey agrees.  
  
    "Exactly."  
  
    "But I like you, too," Nursey says. "I was really worried that I'd fucked things up between us."  
  
    Dex turns and gets a good look at Nursey for the first time, and he's surprised by what he sees. "Hey, have you been crying?"  
  
    "You can tell?"  
  
    "Yeah, your eyes always look bruised after you've been crying."  
  
    "Yeah," Nursey agrees. "I can't believe you've noticed that."  
  
    "I pay more attention than you think," Dex says. "Is that why you were crying? Because you thought you fucked things up?"  
  
    Nursey nods.  
  
    "Well, you didn't. I really liked kissing you, and I think I've mostly figured out my feelings now, so there are no more freakouts in the forecast."  
  
    "Yeah? Does that mean it's safe for me to kiss you again?" Nursey asks carefully.  
  
    Dex cracks a smile. "It's safe, yeah."  
  
    "Is it okay?"  
  
    "Definitely."  
  
    "Okay, good." Nursey slides closer; touches Dex's cheek. Dex's eyes fall closed as they lean in, and the kiss is nothing like before. It's not heated and rushed. It's so soft, slow and sweet and incredible. Dex doesn't feel nervous or anxious, just happy and hopeful. His hand moves to rest on the back of Nursey's neck, and they part slowly after a few more kisses.  
  
    Nursey's smiling, and Dex knows his own expression matches. "We should try that other stuff again tomorrow, maybe. If you want to," Dex says.  
  
    "I think I'd have to be stupid to turn that offer down," Nursey responds. "But for tonight, do you wanna stay down here?"  
  
    "I'd like that," Dex says.  
  
    "'Swawesome. I'm an excellent cuddler."  
  
    "Please don't make me regret this this quickly," Dex teases, and Nursey laughs loudly.  
  
    "Make jokes now, Dexy; you're finna learn," Nursey says, and pulls Dex down to the bed with him.  
  
    After a long moment of moving around and getting comfortable on the little twin bed, Dex concludes, "okay, fine, you are a great cuddler."  
  
    "Excellent," Nursey corrects.  
  
    "Oh, yes, my bad. You're an _excellent_ cuddler."  
  
    "Ah, yeah? You're not so bad yourself," Nursey says, and presses a quick kiss to Dex's cheek. Dex doesn't try to hide his smile.

    "Hey, for the record? I do like it when you read poetry. I was just being an asshole earlier."

    "' _This ill temper I have is making me mad_ ,'" Nursey quotes.

    "Is that from a poem?"

    "Yeah," Nursey says. "I think you'd like it."

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like there's something I should say, but I don't know what it is. I hope y'all like this. Really do call me out if this is weird compared to my usual writing, please. I was sleep-deprived and a little high when I wrote this.
> 
> The poem I mentioned is The Anger In Me by Jonathan Pendley.


End file.
